snotlout’s kiss
Whaaaat I actually wrote something?? and finished it????? and in one day???
omg. yes i wrote a hiccstrid modern au drabble. I feel so productive.
As Hiccup is leaving for a party, Snotlout tells Hiccup to give Astrid a kiss for him.
*
“That looks stupid.”
Hiccup rolled his eyes as he heard his cousin’s words and continued to attempt to calm his hair down, squinting into the mirror.
“Then again,” continued Snotlout. “You always look stupid.”
The shorter, squatter of the two was draped over Hiccup’s couch, fiddling with his phone and picking at a plate of microwaved (and expired) pizza rolls. He had been wearing the same clothes for three days and hadn’t showered in four. The couch was starting to mold to his body—and stench.
Normally, this would be typical behavior for Snotlout. But the swollen throat, running nose, eye bags, and the puke bucket sitting atop the coffee table revealed that he was, in fact, quite sick.
“I’m ignoring you,” Hiccup said. He combed a hand through his hair, contemplating whether to run some gel through it or not. The thought perished quickly as he remembered hearing some girls say they actually like the messy-hair look. With that in mind, he fluffed his hair more.
The roles of the cousins were swapped that night. Hiccup was the one who was usually planted on the sofa, working studiously on the paper due the following week, while Snotlout hadn’t gone to class in a number of days and was suiting up to get wasted.
But Snotlout was sick—when he refuses to go out on the weekend, you know something’s really wrong—and Hiccup had no homework. It wasn’t supposed to be a rager, and there were people he actually associated with that were going to be there. And of course, Astrid Hofferson.
Ever since seeing her in that Norse Mythology class sophomore year, Hiccup had been infatuated with Astrid. Her sparkling blue eyes, perfectly pink cheeks, wide smile, and no-bullshit attitude captivated him and tore him apart. Becoming friends with her was one of the best and one of the worst things: hanging out with her was awesome, but hiding his intense crush for her was always a battle.
The party was at the apartment that Astrid shared with Heather and Ruffnut, who were also good friends of Hiccup’s. She had come up to him in the library as he was hunched over notes for his experimental physics class, looking like a Victoria’s Secret model in her oversized, stained sweatshirt and messy braid, and invited him. He had never said “yes” faster to anything in his life.
There was a problem, though, in having a thing for Astrid Hofferson. Snotlout also had a thing for her. Except, Snotlout’s thing, Hiccup would argue, was that he just wanted to get into her pants.
“Of course I’m the one that sick,” complained Snotlout as he chucked a pizza roll at the TV. “I’m the one that should be going. Hofferson is going to be devastated.”
“I’m sure she will be,” Hiccup said, buttoning the last button on his shirt.
Hiccup slipped into his shoes and was grabbing his keys when something small hit the back of his head and fell with a splat onto the floor. He picked up the pizza roll that Snotlout threw and chucked it back at him.
“Dude.” Hiccup ducked his way toward the door. “Stop.”
“Whatever, you twig,” Snotlout laughed. “Make sure to give Astrid a kiss for me!”
Hiccup darted out the door before he could be pelted by any more pizza rolls, glad he could get out of the apartment that reeked of disease and body odor, heading toward a different apartment that would reek of beer and body odor.
Hiccup walked the ten minutes to Astrid’s apartment. He could hear the music before he could see her building, and he almost contemplated turning around and going back. But the thought of Snotlout stinking up his living room and talking about Astrid naked made him want to be anywhere except his place.
Climbing up the stairs two at a time, Hiccup heard a scream and a shout, followed by two sets of cackles.
The twins.
Well, he definitely wouldn’t be bored at this shindig.
“Hiccup!”
He wasn’t paying attention as he was walking and almost ran into her.
“Astrid! Hi, Astrid. Hey. Sorry.”
She was wearing a simple black dress, pink lipstick, and her hair in its usual braid. Her eyes shined and her smile glittered. She was breathtaking.
“You made it! I’m glad.”
“Yeah,” said Hiccup, scratching the back of his neck. “Wouldn’t wanna miss it. Turn down a personal invitation? Are you kidding me?”
She laughed and his heart stopped.
“I just was escaping the twins and their drinking games for a minute,” Astrid explained, taking another step down. “Do you wanna join?”
“Of course,” Hiccup said. “After what I’ve heard from them already, I don’t know if I want to go in there. And I haven’t even seen them yet.”
“I don’t blame you.”
They made their way outside, Hiccup holding the door for her as they stepped into the cool night.
Small talk about classes, her cross country season, and graduation ensued, but Hiccup was only half-present. He was more focused on how she twiddled her fingers when she talked, how she tucked her hair behind her ear, and how she drew circles on the pavement with the tip of her shoe.
“Is Snotlout not here?” she asked, and his heart dropped momentarily. Hiccup figured she probably wanted Snotlout to be there and was disappointed that he wasn’t. She cared about whether he was at her party or not. She was probably thinking about Snotlout the entire time they were talking.
Hiccup really wanted a beer at that moment.
“No,” Hiccup replied, looking down at the ground. “He’s really sick. Stinking up my apartment and eating all my soup and pizza rolls.”
Astrid laughed her beautiful laugh. “I’m almost glad. He won’t be after my ass the whole night and drunkenly declaring his love for me.”
The world felt like it lifted its weight off of Hiccup’s shoulders.
“His roommates wouldn’t let him stay home when he got sick, so they dumped him off on me. How do you think I feel? With him living with me, sick?”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. It’s just hard focusing on aerodynamic functions when he’s barfing up dinner in the next room over.”
“Yikes,” Astrid said, tucking hair behind her ear. “I’m glad I don’t have to see him sick. It sounds a lot worse than how he is normally.”
“He wanted to come tonight,” Hiccup chuckled. “But he actually had a sliver of common sense and stayed behind. He’s still himself; telling me to kiss you for him while I’m here.”
Hiccup cursed himself, Snotlout, and every other being that existed on the face of the earth for rambling out that last part.
He was glad it was dark—shame and embarrassment hit him full force as he closed his eyes, not wanting to see her face as she heard what he said.
“He did?”
He could hear her grin.
“Yes. No. Maybe. Sort of.” You are so stupid, Hiccup. So, so so-
“Well, are you gonna do it?”
The world stopped spinning.
“What?” he blurted, eyes snapping open and eyebrow cocking. That was not the response he had expected. Actually, if he had a list of answers he would have expected from her, it would be at the very, very bottom of the list. Nothing could have prepared him for it.
Astrid rolled her eyes and put a hand on a hip. “It would only be the polite thing to do, right?”
“Stop joking around.” Hiccup felt his heart beat faster and faster.
“Stop being a terrible cousin.”
Hiccup couldn’t tell if she wanted him to kiss her or not. She sent so many mixed signals and signs, she was a puzzle that was impossible to figure out.
Letting go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding, he stepped toward her, leaned down—she was a lot shorter up close, wasn’t she—and pecked her cheek. Even the act of barely kissing her cheek made his heart go wild and his face flame bright red.
“Really, Haddock?” she said, a smirk playing on her lips. “That’s your kiss?”
“No,” he said. The words falling out of his mouth weren’t his. They were words from a more suave, smooth Hiccup that had taken over him. He couldn’t help what he was saying. “That was Snotlout’s kiss.”
Astrid raised an eyebrow with a tiny smile. “What’s yours?”
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD, ran through Hiccup’s mind because Astrid Hofferson just flirted with him and suggested that he kiss her.
He looked into her blue, blue eyes that were so, so beautiful and felt her soft, soft hand grab his. They were incredibly close, their breaths mixing in the small space between them as Hiccup could make out each faded freckle that was splashed on her nose.
Gazing into her eyes and feeling every emotion at once and his heart running at a thousand beats a minute, his hand made its way to her jaw and he found himself closing the last of the gap in between them.
Nothing had ever felt more right when they kissed. His eyes were shut but he saw stars. As he felt her arms snake their way around his neck, he pulled her closer and smiled against her mouth. To have dreamt of this moment for two years, and to finally have it come true, was perfect bliss.
They pulled apart, foreheads resting on each other. Astrid’s hands cupped his face and her thumbs stroked his cheeks. He kept his arms wrapped around her waist.
“I think I like Hiccup’s kiss more,” Astrid said with a grin.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waiting to do that,” was all Hiccup could say.
“Eh, I have an idea. You’re not that subtle.”
Before he could respond, she pulled him down to kiss him again.
Hiccup had never been more thankful for Snotlout’s disease-ridden and loud mouth saying stupid things.
i hope that wasn’t too bad, i’m just proud that i had an original idea for once and actually found the motivation to bust out 1700 words.
if u like it pls give it a little love its my only motivation rn
thx for reading byee :)
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